"Me Time" Follow Up

Thanks to those of you who repsonded with what relaxes you.
What I would like to discuss, though, are the following two comments:

1) You must have the support of your husband to make me time.
Absolutely.
Lord willing, your (general term to all reading this) husband loves you and wants what is best for you. And that means having some relaxing time. Just you time. If you don't, you are bound to get all tightened up - only to come unraveled on your spouse, your children, and/or your friends (or go crazy). It really is in his best interest to help you make time to relax.

And what if your husband's love language is acts of service? (something more "to do") He likes the dishes done and laundry put away and homecooked meals? By all means, try demonstrating your love of him by doing these things on a regular basis.
But if what speaks love to you is having 1 night a week that is pizza on paper plates night so there's no supper prep or clean up so you can scrapbook .... well, then out of love, he should be willing to accept that 1 night a week there will not be a 5 course meal. (please note that is exagerated. I personally only prepare 4 course meals - whle wearing my pearl necklace and high heels ;)
Or perhaps after talking with your husband you agree that twice a month, instead of doing housework that day, you will spend all day sewing. Please expect the house to be a mess that day, honey.
Make sense?

2) .....what happens if you've actually lost yourself.?........What if you've forgotten what it is that rejuvinates you?
Wow. Very honest. Thanks for sharing this.
I think we as women can so easily get caught up in making sure our spouse and children are happy, that we forget what makes us happy.
(Does it truly make me happy to go on a play date to McDonalds? No. Fun, and better than cleaning my toilets at home, but not relaxing or rejuvenating)

My advice if you have forgotten what rejuvenates you is:
First: Think back to pre-married / pre-kids days. I know that seems an eternity ago, but stretch your brain and try. What did you do if you had the afternoon off work? If you were feeling down, what did you do to cheer yourself up? What activity gave you the warm-fuzzies for hours just thinking about how much fun you had?
Second: What are your current interests? What do you like to talk about with your friends? Is there something you always thought would be fun to try, but keep pushing it off because you don't have time? (learning a musical instrument? taking karate? Taking a cooking class? Learning to crochet? Writing a book? mountain biking? video games?)
And then? Discuss with your spouse ways to re/introduce that "thing" into your current life.

You know what?
I don't truly think that remembering what makes us happy is the real problem, though.
I think we feel guilty for indulging. For spending the time or money cost of that "thing".
If we aren't being productive and working towards crossing off our to-do items, we feel guily.
If we spend time focused on us, instead of our husband or kids, we feel guilty.
If we spend money we could have taken the kids to McDonalds with, we feel guilty.
While we should not be selfish with our money or time,
sometimes spending a little on ourselves is actually investing in our loved ones.
You know the old addage: If Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy?

Yes, yes, I know the scripture references for not being like the sluggard, but be like the ants; or the Prov 31 woman who doesn't let her light go out at dark; or the reference to not grow weary of doing good works; etc.. etc.. etc...

But remember that God also commands us to REST.

*God created the world in 6 days, and on day 7 - He RESTED. (Genesis 2:1-3)
(that is once a week, ladies!)
*Remember the Sabbath? - Commandment #4 ? (Exodus 20:8-11)
*And finally, please look up Matthew 11:28-30 in your Bibles.
Christ bids all who are weary and burdened to come to Him, and He will give us rest.

That is a nice stopping point for today. A nice bridge to my next post on starting the day off with God.

May God Bless each of us as we try to balance our work, family, friend, and self time!