Stereotypically, men bond by watching or participating in sports and doing a project of some sort together. Women bond through shopping, eating, and talking (usually involving large amounts of crying, laughing, or both).
So when my good friend Marci called Thursday morning and invited me to help paint mutual friend Joelle's nursery on Friday, I wasn't thinking, "Oh goody! A chance to bond!" Quite frankly, I was thinking, "Great. I'm spending all day today planting a garden and my house is a mess. I don't feel like spending tomorrow helping someone else paint. Bu-ut, Marci generously gave her time and energy to help me paint my master bedroom, so how can I tell her no?!?"
"Sure!", I told Marci...... hoping she didn't detect my false enthusiasm.
3 Things God taught me through painting a nursery yesterday:
1) Marci is a servant friend. She comes to a friend's need in a heartbeat. So giving..... and cheerful about it, too.
2) I am not. I prefer to be the "taker". Oh, I'll help a friend, because that is what friends do. But I'm not very often cheerful about it. Shame on me.
side note: Part of me wishes God had kept that one His little secret. Did I accidentally pray recently to become a better friend or more servant-hearted?!
3) There is blessing in servanthood. I had such a fun time with Marci and Joelle yesterday. Sure, someone (Marci) tried dropping a level on my head and I ended the day with a kinked neck and wrist. But all in all we enjoyed good fellowship. Deepened our friendship over sharing the excitement of a new little boy.
I nearly missed out on that blessing. Glad I didn't.
Bringing it full circle, we girls bonded through an activity. Who says bonding through activities is just for the boys? Ok, sure there was lots of talking going on. But there wouldn't have been talking without the activity.
Interaction:
Where do you fall on the servant-heart scale? 1 - 10
Use the following guide:
1 (help if forced to) 3 (Britt-like: joyfully volunteer - if it fits in my schedule and is needed) 9 (Marci-like) 10 (practically Jesus)
and I know for a fact most of my friends are at least a 7 or 8..... so if you underscore yourself, I'll call you on it!
you are more of a servant that you give yourself credit for...but the honesty of your blog today was shockingly refreshing!
ReplyDeleterobin
Thank you soo much for the wonderful compliment. I was sorry I missed with the level too;) The chinese food was great thanks Joelle.
ReplyDelete-Marci
i'm a talker (surprise, surprise) but growing up with 3 brothers, i usually bond more with people by doing things with them rather than sitting down and having face to face conversation. infact, i need very little of that kind of conversation with MOST people in my life. i'd prefer to just do things together because i bond over: watching a movie or show, playing a game, doing a sport, doing a craft or something creative. jesse and i actually usually "connect" more by doing things together too which explains why we got so bored on our honeymoon when we had endless uninteruppted time together . . . we wanted to have fun together! we wanted to go to an amusement park, parasail together, anything but sit there and just talk. we're also babies of the family though so we just like to have fun in general. :)
ReplyDeleteBritt -
ReplyDeleteThanks for telling Marci yes! It was such a fun time having both of you help with Timothy's room! Plus it looks FABULOUS! I enjoyed talking with both of you during the work - it was sooo fun!
I'm like the poster above (your sil?) - I think because I have 4 brothers I bond more by talking while doing a project instead of just talking by itself.
I think I am a 6 - I really do enjoy helping others, but I tend to complain about it (not in front of the person I'm helping) if I feel that I'm too busy to start with.
THANKS AGAIN!!!