Good weekend, Ladies,
I gotta be real here. I'm feeling pretty emotionaly shredded and bruised today.
If you have followed this blog for a little while, you probably have noticed that I currently reside in an under 1400 sq. foot house and would love, Love, LOVE to be in a bigger, nicer house. It is probably my biggest struggle with covetesnous at this stage in my life. You may also have read recently that I was content. And I was.... until these past couple of weeks when we (Dan and I) started considering making the leap to the next level of house.
Yah. I was pret-ty excited :) We met with our Mortgage company. We met with a really awesome real estate agent. I (Dan has to work yet another Saturday today) was scheduled to go looking at houses with said realator this morning.
It did not happen.
After prayerful consideration and Dan and I taking a HARD look at our finances last night, we realized this would not be a wise move (pun intended) on our part.
So yes. I am VERY dissappointed. But I am also very at peace.
I believe God has brought us safely through a test. (I don't necessarily mean a test of God's design, but more a day in day out living our life test).
Satan knows my weakness: House. Satan is very crafty and deceitful. He knows what we want to hear.
And I fell for it.
By the grace of God, we (Dan and I) recognized the lies we were believing before serious damage was done.
It wasn't just a financial decision. It was spiritual warfare. Submitting ourselves to God's direction/plan for our lives instead of believing Satan's lies and deception.
We needed to re-evaluate our current spending and financial stewardship. We found ourselves lacking. If we had stayed on that path, financial stress - even potential ruin - were on the horizon and we had turned a blind eye. A new and bigger house now would most certainly lead us to severe finanacial stress or ruin. Not to mention the implications for major marital stress.
So Praise God.
I don't feel happy or joyful about it. (Drats, why, oh why did I pray for the Joy of the Lord. Didn't HE know I ment give me a house and I would be joyful?!?!?)
But I do feel at peace and secure in God's goodness and blessings that we DO have. (We have many)
I praise God that HE brought us safely through a tough financial decision that has far-reaching consequences.
Just thought I would share.
-Britt :)
PS - Thought I would take a quick moment and share a few blessings in my life:
Jesus Christ as my Lord, Savior, and Friend
Healthy Family
Wonderful Husband who treats me extremely well
Children who love Jesus
Great Friends
Godly heritage to bolster me when I am personally feeling weak
THIS HOUSE. It is a good home and I am thankful for it
Food on the table every day every meal
My new digital piano
Money for kids to play soccer and do Awanas and Cub scouts
I am able to stay home with my Children
While we are not moving into a new house, we are not being evicted from this one
...
...
Interactive:
What blessings in your own life has God made you aware of lately? And if not, can you take a moment and count them? Trust me. It is much more encouraging than wallowing in what we do not have :)
Welcome to Britt's Blog. Where I "write to be real" in hope that my stories offer refreshment. So come on in and sit a spell.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Hello, Jon Acuff!
Sorry, Ladies.
I gotta be real here.
This post is not for you, but for me.
You see, I really enjoy reading a blog entitled Stuff Christians Like. The author of this site (and a soon to be released book by the same title) offered to guest post on a few people's blogs.
I signed up.
I am really hopeful as I was comment number 696 :()
Anyway,
If you are reading this, Jon, thanks for taking the time to stop by. Especially since I just now realized I think I missed the deadline by a day!
Ha ha ha.
Well, at least this gave me something to write about today.
Hope everyone is having a blessed week!
Britt :)
I gotta be real here.
This post is not for you, but for me.
You see, I really enjoy reading a blog entitled Stuff Christians Like. The author of this site (and a soon to be released book by the same title) offered to guest post on a few people's blogs.
I signed up.
I am really hopeful as I was comment number 696 :()
Anyway,
If you are reading this, Jon, thanks for taking the time to stop by. Especially since I just now realized I think I missed the deadline by a day!
Ha ha ha.
Well, at least this gave me something to write about today.
Hope everyone is having a blessed week!
Britt :)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Perspective
Two of my sisters-in-law are the inspiration for this post. Both are very creative writers.
One sister (shout out to JULIE) occasionaly writes on her family blog as her 2 year old daughter. Even her 4 month old son recently wrote his debut blog post. These posts are written through the child's perspective, complete with phonetic mis-spells. My other sister (shout out to KARI) takes mundane, everyday items and brings them to life. She has infused more life into objects such as stairs and dust bunnies than the average character in a dime store novel.
So what makes their writing so witty, creative, descriptive and full of life?
I think it comes down to one word: PERSPECTIVE.
They put themselves inside a child's mind, or in themind place of an ordinary objct, and then think like that child or object (if an object thought, that is).
Where am I going with this?
Well, I think it connects well with our discussion on relationships. If we purposed to get inside the other person's head and view the world from their perspective, we might be less likely to judge what they say or do. We might be more likely to understand what they are meaning to say and do, instead of focusing on how it offends us.
I try and keep this in mind when living with my husband and three children (which I do 24/7 - :)
Why must my toddler take for-ever walking from point A to point B?!? Must every ant, rock, leaf, and fire hydrant be thouroughly inspected? Well, if I was just discovering the world around me and toddled only 2 feet off the ground, I imagine I would be fascinated, too. When my husband is 10 -TEN- minutes late for supper I can think "How dare he. We are all waiting for him and couldn't he be more considerate!" When from his perspective, that extra 10 minutes speaking with his boss avoided 2 hours of extra work the next day. Not to mention the respect of his boss, whom it's important to keep happy. When my children run around yelling non-sense words at the top of their lungs, are they purposely trying my sanity? Or are they just being kids and enjoying each other's creative company?
There are, of course, more serious examples, but those 3 come to mind this Sunday afternoon.
I think I'll try and keep things in perspective this week by considering other people's perspectives.
Interactive
Have you ever experienced a situation where fresh perspective helped the relationship - or at least your attitude concerning the other person?
One sister (shout out to JULIE) occasionaly writes on her family blog as her 2 year old daughter. Even her 4 month old son recently wrote his debut blog post. These posts are written through the child's perspective, complete with phonetic mis-spells. My other sister (shout out to KARI) takes mundane, everyday items and brings them to life. She has infused more life into objects such as stairs and dust bunnies than the average character in a dime store novel.
So what makes their writing so witty, creative, descriptive and full of life?
I think it comes down to one word: PERSPECTIVE.
They put themselves inside a child's mind, or in the
Where am I going with this?
Well, I think it connects well with our discussion on relationships. If we purposed to get inside the other person's head and view the world from their perspective, we might be less likely to judge what they say or do. We might be more likely to understand what they are meaning to say and do, instead of focusing on how it offends us.
I try and keep this in mind when living with my husband and three children (which I do 24/7 - :)
Why must my toddler take for-ever walking from point A to point B?!? Must every ant, rock, leaf, and fire hydrant be thouroughly inspected? Well, if I was just discovering the world around me and toddled only 2 feet off the ground, I imagine I would be fascinated, too. When my husband is 10 -TEN- minutes late for supper I can think "How dare he. We are all waiting for him and couldn't he be more considerate!" When from his perspective, that extra 10 minutes speaking with his boss avoided 2 hours of extra work the next day. Not to mention the respect of his boss, whom it's important to keep happy. When my children run around yelling non-sense words at the top of their lungs, are they purposely trying my sanity? Or are they just being kids and enjoying each other's creative company?
There are, of course, more serious examples, but those 3 come to mind this Sunday afternoon.
I think I'll try and keep things in perspective this week by considering other people's perspectives.
Interactive
Have you ever experienced a situation where fresh perspective helped the relationship - or at least your attitude concerning the other person?
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Family Personality - Affecting Our Adult Relationships
This is a continuation of discussing how our past influences our adulthood relationships.
Again, I want to make it clear that I hold no degree in child or family psychology, so the following ideas really have no clout, whatsoever! ;)
I personaly feel the family environment (personality) in which we were raised plays a very important role in who we become as adults. Specifically, our adult relationships.
Were your parents out-going extroverts who loved to party and get out on the town? Or are they introverts who prefered a quiet evening at home, relaxing with a good book? Did your family settle arguments with shouting matches or well-ordered court room like debates? Or did they ignore problems and never directly deal with anything? Did your family love the outdoors and camp every chance, or was your idea of outdoor time walking the dog around the city block?
Granted, there are several examples of the "black sheep" of the family. God has wired us all different. But if our family personality was to play rowdy, rough-house games and boistrously laugh at one another, then we will most likely behave like that as well. Makes it kind of awkward for the more introverted in-law who is used to family gatherings consisting of calm, quiet, sit down games and talk. And while the introvert certainly knows how to laugh, the constant ribbing and teasing and loud laughter may appear to be mean or too much noise.
STOP, STOP, STOP.
I'm going to shift gears here. Yes, I believe a person's childhood family personality plays a huge roll in how s/he relates to others as an adult. But there are too many variables and circumstances to try and tuck it neatly away in one blog post. Especially when, in truth, I know nothing of substantial consequence about how the past effects our adult relationships.
However, in thinking about adult relationships, there is a nugget of truth worthy of sharing. I will use family personality to illustrate.
In my family growing up, ribbing and teasing were normal. But I have to watch how I tease others because they may take offense at my teasing if they grew up in a different family dynamic. Conversely, I can not be offended if someone else acts/behaves differently than what I think of as "normal". They probably just grew up in a different family environment than me.
I think a lot of relationship issues could be resolved by people being slower to judge someone elses intentions.
We filter what people say and do according to our past experiences. We need to remember that others have different past experiences. So in probably the best part of this post, I'd like to leave you with a Bible verse:
James 1:19 - Eveyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
There. I am done discussing the "past affecting adult relationships" . I know I said spirituality was number 3 and promised a 3-post series, but why ramble when I have nothing productive to say? Yes, I know that has not stopped me in the past, but I like to think I occasionaly learn :)
I'll just give you the one thing I know to be true about spirituality affecting adult relationships:
Jesus Christ is the key. When we know and accept His great love for us, we will want to treat others with love and kindness. And isn't the golden rule the basis for great relationships in a nutshell?
(John 3:16) (John 13:34,35) (Matthew 22:37-40)
Interactive:
Any last thoughts on how a person's past effects adult relationships?
Any ideas for future topics you would like to discuss on this blog?
Again, I want to make it clear that I hold no degree in child or family psychology, so the following ideas really have no clout, whatsoever! ;)
I personaly feel the family environment (personality) in which we were raised plays a very important role in who we become as adults. Specifically, our adult relationships.
Were your parents out-going extroverts who loved to party and get out on the town? Or are they introverts who prefered a quiet evening at home, relaxing with a good book? Did your family settle arguments with shouting matches or well-ordered court room like debates? Or did they ignore problems and never directly deal with anything? Did your family love the outdoors and camp every chance, or was your idea of outdoor time walking the dog around the city block?
Granted, there are several examples of the "black sheep" of the family. God has wired us all different. But if our family personality was to play rowdy, rough-house games and boistrously laugh at one another, then we will most likely behave like that as well. Makes it kind of awkward for the more introverted in-law who is used to family gatherings consisting of calm, quiet, sit down games and talk. And while the introvert certainly knows how to laugh, the constant ribbing and teasing and loud laughter may appear to be mean or too much noise.
STOP, STOP, STOP.
I'm going to shift gears here. Yes, I believe a person's childhood family personality plays a huge roll in how s/he relates to others as an adult. But there are too many variables and circumstances to try and tuck it neatly away in one blog post. Especially when, in truth, I know nothing of substantial consequence about how the past effects our adult relationships.
However, in thinking about adult relationships, there is a nugget of truth worthy of sharing. I will use family personality to illustrate.
In my family growing up, ribbing and teasing were normal. But I have to watch how I tease others because they may take offense at my teasing if they grew up in a different family dynamic. Conversely, I can not be offended if someone else acts/behaves differently than what I think of as "normal". They probably just grew up in a different family environment than me.
I think a lot of relationship issues could be resolved by people being slower to judge someone elses intentions.
We filter what people say and do according to our past experiences. We need to remember that others have different past experiences. So in probably the best part of this post, I'd like to leave you with a Bible verse:
James 1:19 - Eveyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
There. I am done discussing the "past affecting adult relationships" . I know I said spirituality was number 3 and promised a 3-post series, but why ramble when I have nothing productive to say? Yes, I know that has not stopped me in the past, but I like to think I occasionaly learn :)
I'll just give you the one thing I know to be true about spirituality affecting adult relationships:
Jesus Christ is the key. When we know and accept His great love for us, we will want to treat others with love and kindness. And isn't the golden rule the basis for great relationships in a nutshell?
(John 3:16) (John 13:34,35) (Matthew 22:37-40)
Interactive:
Any last thoughts on how a person's past effects adult relationships?
Any ideas for future topics you would like to discuss on this blog?
Monday, January 25, 2010
Economic Past - Affecting Our Adult Relationships
Discussing the past, I thought perhaps we could chat a bit how family influences who we are as adults. Specifically our adult relationships. (Thanks, Keely, for the idea). I want to make it clear that I hold no degree in child or family psychology, so the following ideas really have no clout, whatsoever! ;)
I personaly feel the family environment in which we were raised plays a very important role in who we become as adults. Specifically, our adult relationships.
I think there are 3 main areas of influence: Economic, Personality, Spiritual. I've decided to break this up into 3 posts. Today I will focus on Economic.
Economic.
I know money can not buy happiness. But it can buy piano lessons, ice skating lessons, private schools, family vacations, and cultural functions (museums, sporting events, rodeos, concerts, zoos...). All of these experiences shape who a person becomes. I know, I know, the library is free and reading can take you on many learning adventures. But actually experiencing something is more powerful than reading about it. Hearing a CD recording of Mozart is an entirely different experience than playing it for yourself. Reading about Europe and personally seeing, hearing,breathing, living in that culture for a few weeks are incomparable.
All this to say that a child's interests, rather - developement of his/her interests, are greatly influenced by the economic status of the family in which s/he grew up in. And interests lead to career choices and the way we enjoy life. (I can't go play the piano for relaxation if I don't know how) (I might not become a marine biologist if I never experienced a trip to the coast and stood knee deep in the ocean).
And the way we enjoy life influences the kind of friends we have. We tend to seek out others who have common interests and similar lifestyle. I think we could all agree that the lifestyle of the rich and famous is different than, shall we say, the lifestyle of me?!
This brings up another reason economic status influences our relationships. If I am a "saver" (due to growing up with little money and stuck in the mindset that money is limited), I am less likely to have close friends who enjoy flying to Las Vegas for regular girls' weekend get-aways. If I grew up with a ton of money and am used to buying whatever I want, whenever I want, it might not be a good idea to date a man who is happily employed as a social worker.
Having said all the above, please do not mis-read what I am saying. Can a child who never visited a zoo become a veteranarian? Certainly. Can a millionaire's daughter be happy in a loving marriage to a factory line worker? Absolutely. I just think the economic standing of a family influences the probablity of such things occuring.
Interactive:
What do you think? How did the economic standing of your childhood family influence your adult relationships?
Before Keely asks me, I'll answer the question myself:
We did not have much money at all growing up. It limited my experiences. I was unable to participate in school trips. There was no money for piano lessons, let alone a piano to play on. Vacations were camping in local parks, not trips across the country to visit historical landmarks. We didn't have a 3,000- sq foot home on 5 acres of prime land. (most people don't, I know...) ANYWAY, I think I tend to be more of a saver. I wouldn't pair well with a husband who was a spender. (Dan is a saver, as well).
Adversely (probably discounting everything I said in this post...) the lack of travel and money for eating out has probably amplified my love of exploring and trying new things. I love to travel and go out to eat at nicer restaraunts. It was important to me to marry a man who would A) have a reasonable chance of making pretty good money, reliably over time so I could enjoy these things and B) a man who was interested in travel and , well - eating. (This may not totally relate to money, but it is nice to afford eating at nice restaraunts and try new, culturally diverse foods with my husband).
Also, I think some of the deep-seeded desire I have for a really nice house stems from the lack of a really nice house as a child. Perhaps I would be more content if I weren't secretly trying to achieve something missing from childhood. (and perhaps that is just an excuse and I need to get over it!)
Now, having said all that, I do not feel I had a horrible childhood and never got to do anything. I loved to read - which is almost free. There were travel mission trips I was able to go on through our church (church fundraising). Joking and laughter is always free. I know true love and happiness is not bought with money, but rather on God's love and the love of family that accepts you for who you are, not what you can buy.
So basically, I know nothing about how economic status of your childhood affects your adult relationships.
There are too many variables.
Thanks, Keely, I feel less smart than I did a few moments ago. (can I blame it on my lower economic class childhood?) :)
I personaly feel the family environment in which we were raised plays a very important role in who we become as adults. Specifically, our adult relationships.
I think there are 3 main areas of influence: Economic, Personality, Spiritual. I've decided to break this up into 3 posts. Today I will focus on Economic.
Economic.
I know money can not buy happiness. But it can buy piano lessons, ice skating lessons, private schools, family vacations, and cultural functions (museums, sporting events, rodeos, concerts, zoos...). All of these experiences shape who a person becomes. I know, I know, the library is free and reading can take you on many learning adventures. But actually experiencing something is more powerful than reading about it. Hearing a CD recording of Mozart is an entirely different experience than playing it for yourself. Reading about Europe and personally seeing, hearing,breathing, living in that culture for a few weeks are incomparable.
All this to say that a child's interests, rather - developement of his/her interests, are greatly influenced by the economic status of the family in which s/he grew up in. And interests lead to career choices and the way we enjoy life. (I can't go play the piano for relaxation if I don't know how) (I might not become a marine biologist if I never experienced a trip to the coast and stood knee deep in the ocean).
And the way we enjoy life influences the kind of friends we have. We tend to seek out others who have common interests and similar lifestyle. I think we could all agree that the lifestyle of the rich and famous is different than, shall we say, the lifestyle of me?!
This brings up another reason economic status influences our relationships. If I am a "saver" (due to growing up with little money and stuck in the mindset that money is limited), I am less likely to have close friends who enjoy flying to Las Vegas for regular girls' weekend get-aways. If I grew up with a ton of money and am used to buying whatever I want, whenever I want, it might not be a good idea to date a man who is happily employed as a social worker.
Having said all the above, please do not mis-read what I am saying. Can a child who never visited a zoo become a veteranarian? Certainly. Can a millionaire's daughter be happy in a loving marriage to a factory line worker? Absolutely. I just think the economic standing of a family influences the probablity of such things occuring.
Interactive:
What do you think? How did the economic standing of your childhood family influence your adult relationships?
Before Keely asks me, I'll answer the question myself:
We did not have much money at all growing up. It limited my experiences. I was unable to participate in school trips. There was no money for piano lessons, let alone a piano to play on. Vacations were camping in local parks, not trips across the country to visit historical landmarks. We didn't have a 3,000- sq foot home on 5 acres of prime land. (most people don't, I know...) ANYWAY, I think I tend to be more of a saver. I wouldn't pair well with a husband who was a spender. (Dan is a saver, as well).
Adversely (probably discounting everything I said in this post...) the lack of travel and money for eating out has probably amplified my love of exploring and trying new things. I love to travel and go out to eat at nicer restaraunts. It was important to me to marry a man who would A) have a reasonable chance of making pretty good money, reliably over time so I could enjoy these things and B) a man who was interested in travel and , well - eating. (This may not totally relate to money, but it is nice to afford eating at nice restaraunts and try new, culturally diverse foods with my husband).
Also, I think some of the deep-seeded desire I have for a really nice house stems from the lack of a really nice house as a child. Perhaps I would be more content if I weren't secretly trying to achieve something missing from childhood. (and perhaps that is just an excuse and I need to get over it!)
Now, having said all that, I do not feel I had a horrible childhood and never got to do anything. I loved to read - which is almost free. There were travel mission trips I was able to go on through our church (church fundraising). Joking and laughter is always free. I know true love and happiness is not bought with money, but rather on God's love and the love of family that accepts you for who you are, not what you can buy.
So basically, I know nothing about how economic status of your childhood affects your adult relationships.
There are too many variables.
Thanks, Keely, I feel less smart than I did a few moments ago. (can I blame it on my lower economic class childhood?) :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Reflections on my Past
Keely challenged me with a question last post. She wanted to know about my past
and wrote in the comments section: How have you incorporated the good and bad into who you are today?
Um, Kee-ly. What do you think this is, an interactive diary? You want me to be real, or something?!?
Personally, my biggest regret from my younger-years is that I did not live more boldly (grass always greener on the other side, eh?) More casual dates with boys. (I mean, I know every date is a potential mate, but I was wayyy too picky about even going out on a simple date. But don't get me wrong, I'm happy with who I ended up with ;) I wish I would have snuck out a bit more. Been more involved in school. Gone on a real college spring break trip. I wish I would have spent more time researching and discovering my talents and how to best use them earlier on in my life. (career wise or missionally). How this has shaped me is that it is harder for me to truly relate to a wider net of people. I don't carry a lot of real-life living hands-on learning wisdom. I'm just now starting to discover/deepen/utilize my God-given talents.
I am grateful there are no long-term consequences I need to deal with, which frees me from deep guilt issues. But this also dilutes my feelings of God's Mercy. Of HIS freeing me from my sins. It is harder to truly feel "set-free" and "forgiven" when I don't feel I've been truly bad.
This of course brings up self-righteousness and holier-than-thou issues. God truly has worked on me over the years concerning Pride and Judgmentalism. It is by the grace of God that I didn't make any "major bad" choices. It is by the grace of God I knew of HIS love for me from an early age. It is by the grace of God I grew up in a free country with plenty of food in my belly. It is by the grace of God I never found myself in a predicament where I had to make a tough, tough choice with long-reaching consequences.
That might not be what you were looking for, Keely, but that is what got spat out on this post :)
Feel free to ask further questions.
and wrote in the comments section: How have you incorporated the good and bad into who you are today?
Um, Kee-ly. What do you think this is, an interactive diary? You want me to be real, or something?!?
Personally, my biggest regret from my younger-years is that I did not live more boldly (grass always greener on the other side, eh?) More casual dates with boys. (I mean, I know every date is a potential mate, but I was wayyy too picky about even going out on a simple date. But don't get me wrong, I'm happy with who I ended up with ;) I wish I would have snuck out a bit more. Been more involved in school. Gone on a real college spring break trip. I wish I would have spent more time researching and discovering my talents and how to best use them earlier on in my life. (career wise or missionally). How this has shaped me is that it is harder for me to truly relate to a wider net of people. I don't carry a lot of real-life living hands-on learning wisdom. I'm just now starting to discover/deepen/utilize my God-given talents.
I am grateful there are no long-term consequences I need to deal with, which frees me from deep guilt issues. But this also dilutes my feelings of God's Mercy. Of HIS freeing me from my sins. It is harder to truly feel "set-free" and "forgiven" when I don't feel I've been truly bad.
This of course brings up self-righteousness and holier-than-thou issues. God truly has worked on me over the years concerning Pride and Judgmentalism. It is by the grace of God that I didn't make any "major bad" choices. It is by the grace of God I knew of HIS love for me from an early age. It is by the grace of God I grew up in a free country with plenty of food in my belly. It is by the grace of God I never found myself in a predicament where I had to make a tough, tough choice with long-reaching consequences.
That might not be what you were looking for, Keely, but that is what got spat out on this post :)
Feel free to ask further questions.
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