Keely challenged me with a question last post. She wanted to know about my past
and wrote in the comments section: How have you incorporated the good and bad into who you are today?
Um, Kee-ly. What do you think this is, an interactive diary? You want me to be real, or something?!?
Personally, my biggest regret from my younger-years is that I did not live more boldly (grass always greener on the other side, eh?) More casual dates with boys. (I mean, I know every date is a potential mate, but I was wayyy too picky about even going out on a simple date. But don't get me wrong, I'm happy with who I ended up with ;) I wish I would have snuck out a bit more. Been more involved in school. Gone on a real college spring break trip. I wish I would have spent more time researching and discovering my talents and how to best use them earlier on in my life. (career wise or missionally). How this has shaped me is that it is harder for me to truly relate to a wider net of people. I don't carry a lot of real-life living hands-on learning wisdom. I'm just now starting to discover/deepen/utilize my God-given talents.
I am grateful there are no long-term consequences I need to deal with, which frees me from deep guilt issues. But this also dilutes my feelings of God's Mercy. Of HIS freeing me from my sins. It is harder to truly feel "set-free" and "forgiven" when I don't feel I've been truly bad.
This of course brings up self-righteousness and holier-than-thou issues. God truly has worked on me over the years concerning Pride and Judgmentalism. It is by the grace of God that I didn't make any "major bad" choices. It is by the grace of God I knew of HIS love for me from an early age. It is by the grace of God I grew up in a free country with plenty of food in my belly. It is by the grace of God I never found myself in a predicament where I had to make a tough, tough choice with long-reaching consequences.
That might not be what you were looking for, Keely, but that is what got spat out on this post :)
Feel free to ask further questions.
IMHO, best post yet. :)
ReplyDeleteLoved it!
ReplyDeleteOk, now to push you further...
How do you feel our families have shaped who we are today. I'm talking about both immediate and extended.
It's been only in my adult years that I've been confronted with the wide array of family "values" (or lack thereof), damage done to children and how that is manifested in to adulthood (sometimes positively, sometimes negatively).
have you noticed that our society seems to have a disposable attitude toward relationships? it saddens me. i'm trying to instill in my children that people are NOT disposable. we are human and WILL hurt each other. it's inevitable. but how do we respond to the hurt? even when they don't apologize or sometimes even see where they are wrong? shut them out and "punish" them? or do we show them grace? do we show them God's unconditional love? Certainly easier said than done!
I realize there are times for healthy boundaries, but you'd be surprised how many times I've seen people choose to NOT work things out. sometimes those things are big and harder to work out, but sometimes they're small. But if your defense mechanism or just your way of dealing with relationships is to shut people out, then it doesn't matter how big or small it is.
I shudder at the hurt i've caused others. sometimes intentional, sometimes not. but i'm so very thankful Jesus accepts me, forgives me and doesn't shut me out. I'm thankful for the many people in my life who forgive me and understand that I need the opportunity to grow and learn from what I did or just learn from how they respond.
This has turned into a very long comment. I'm afraid maybe I've wandered away from that original question. But to bring it back, i've seen how broken people (by their past) can be and how it affects adult relationships. I've also seen how people who COULD be broken but for the grace of God are not. I've seen people who had wonderful, godly upbringing also choose to be broken as adults.
What's your take?
Keely,
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna have you as a guest blogger soon if you keep up these profound "questions" ;)
I'll use your latest inquiry for my next post - stay tuned :)